“Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak” Rachel Zoe
Merging fashion and motherhood had never even crossed my mind, it wasn’t on the radar of things that I thought was conceivable. I often wondered how I could possibly look and feel great whilst my adoring, loving, spirited and face smothered in food toddler insisted on round-the-clock attention and snuggles.
Being a first time mum without my ‘tribe of people’ to fall onto for emotional support has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face up to, because it’s never ending. I love the saying “‘It takes a village to raise a child” because it absolutely does and in the absence of that, things can become pretty overwhelming. This is what I’ve found to be true and no matter what your reality is, I’m sure that we can all collectively agree that motherhood is hard. Magical but hard. For me, it felt like a rebirth into a newly evolved me. But, the process can be exhausting, debilitating even! And, whilst this applies to many of life's trials and tribulations, it seems to be a well known and recurring subject in the world of motherhood. I strongly trust that there’s something so intrinsically beautiful and powerful that occurs during this transformation and, my hope is for all mothers to be able to trust that and to find ways in which they can come back to their essence after feeling temporarily lost.
Most days I’d be too afraid to look in the mirror, because I had come to really dislike the reflection. If I looked I’d be filled with dread and I really did not want to feel that, I was already feeling enough. My coping mechanism was to actively avoid mirrors. I was drowning in this world that became all about Bear and nothing about me anymore. You guys know it’s not selfish to put yourself first sometimes, right? I’ve witnessed a lot of guilt put onto mothers for putting themselves first, even in the most appropriate of situations and I loathe that we are made to feel this way by society's totally unrealistic standards of what a good mother looks like. Please ladies, fill yourself up first so that you can give yourself to others in the most loving and kind of ways!
One of the things that I found to be relatively prominent in the way that I felt (and still sometimes feel) is that sense of not having time for yourself. When I do get time out, it rarely feels nourishing as my focus is mostly on the next nutritious meal that I need to provide for my largely plant-based toddler or, the copious amounts of washing that kindly reminds me that it’s still there with its creepy watching eyes. It’s tough to allow yourself free time to practice self care and love, the guilt that comes with it can feel suffocating! And yet at the same time, it’s actually quite daunting to think that there will come a time where this phase will pass. There’ll be days where I can wear all my beloved jewellery again, days where I can wear a white top and I’ll be the only person likely to stain it (Which is highly likely by the way!). I wonder what life will feel like then? Once Bear becomes a man and the reality hits that I’d do anything to go back to the days when he needed my constant attention and snuggles... What an opposing wheel of madness!
There were two conversations that I recalled when I was ready to start reclaiming some of my confidence back. One was with my auntie, Harriet. We talked about how oftentimes, you can tell a lot about someone's personality in the way that they dress and I realised that having Bear made me feel as though I had lost my identity as an individual. I could no longer wear my nose ring or earrings through fear that he might rip them out, no more spending half an hour styling my hair because he’d pull it all back out again, and why wear something nice when you know it’s bound to end up with stains all over it almost straight after you’ve put it on? Ah the realities! The second conversation was one that I had with my stepmom, Fiona. She told me that if you wear a nice pair of shoes, a pair of sunglasses and a handbag that aligns with YOU then you don’t need to give the rest of your outfit much thought. Let it be basic if that’s what’s making sense, but don’t compromise looking and feeling great!
When I found Sandy Days, I ordered three pairs of shoes without knowing anything about the credibility of the company or their products, this is how desperate I was to feel like me again and I’m so glad that I did. I personally really love the Georgie stud mules because their edgy ‘vibe’ makes me feel as though I’ve made an effort, even when I haven’t. I also highly recommend the Woven Mules, they come in a stunning array of colours and I am yet to find an outfit that they don’t go with, which is perfect for those busy, on-the-go days! Both pairs of shoes are ridiculously comfortable AND practical which is something that all mothers (and women) need. Honestly guys, I am no fashionista by any sense of the term but I do know what makes me feel good, and I LOVE how feeling comfortable and confident in your outfit is almost certainly setting up pathways for a great day ahead!
I am SO excited to be here with you all and if reading this helps to inspire even just one beautiful lady then my work here is well and truly done!